The Panic Attack

I was on skype with DH when the uncontrollable breathing and crying set in.  So bad I laid on the couch in the fetal position feeling completely out of control and scared.  I tried to focus on breathing like I was in labor or something.  My fingers and toes went numb and my head felt fuzzy.  I was sweating so bad yet felt chilled.  My chest kept getting tighter and tighter until was so scared of what was happening that I dialed 911 for help.

I was so vulnerable at this moment as asking for help is not in my nature.  I like to care for those around me not have them care for me.  EMS came and was talking to me although it all sounded like we were in a tunnel.  They were asking a million questions and touching me checking for any other issues that may be going on.  One of the EMS guys was ex-military and had been deployed before so seeing me on skype with DH he asked if he could talk with my husband.  I said yes and he left the room with the computer.

On the way to the hospital for further assessment the EMS guys were great and we were able to finally get my breathing down to a healthier state.  They started an IV to give me fluids as I hadnt eaten in days (I actually couldnt tell them how long it had been).

Once at the hospital there were a million more questions and I got some medication to calm me down so that we could figure out what was going on with me and why this was happening.  I didnt have a history of panic attacks.  I did however have a history of depression and anxiety.  I had been on effexor for almost 2 years at that point.

Now came the time to decided to be admitted to the hospital or go home and try and figure out my next steps.  My thoughts were to go home and figure it out. My best friend who was with me in the hospital, well she had better plans and insisted that I go to the hospital and that she would take care of my kiddso so that I could get the help that I needed.  Instead of being mad at her, I was so incredibly grateful that she loves me enough to make such a hard decision not knowing if I would hate her for it or not but she just wanted the best for me.  And it was the best decision.